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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24346471">Throwaway Feeling</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NocturnalPhoenix/pseuds/NocturnalPhoenix'>NocturnalPhoenix</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftercare, Angst, BDSM, Bondage, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Sector 7 Plate Drop (Compilation of FFVII), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Safe Sane and Consensual, Safewords, The Turks seriously need a vacation, and therapy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 08:08:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,184</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24346471</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NocturnalPhoenix/pseuds/NocturnalPhoenix</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tseng had noticed the slight tremor in Reno's fingers, the tight coiling in the way he held himself, the jittering, the slight curl to his lips. Most of all, he had noticed the self-loathing and despair in his eyes. It was that look that eventually swayed him into accepting the -admittedly quite attractive- offer. </p><p>He knew what Reno wanted and knew exactly how to give it to him.</p><p>He just didn’t want to break him, or what they had, in the process.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Reno/Tseng (Compilation of FFVII)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Throwaway Feeling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I don't own FFVII or any part of its legacy. The characters belong to Square Enix and its rightful, brilliant owners. I'm simply a fan borrowing their genius for my depraved amusement. </p><p>This is obviously rated explicit for language, mentions of a pizza squashing people and male/male sex, specifically consensual BDSM play between two adults at that. </p><p>So if you are less than 18, please get the fuck away from my work. If you don't mind any of the above, please have fun and let me know how you found it.</p><p>Also, the title of this fic is from a very well-known song, but I'll let you guess what that is ;).</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>“This is bullshit. What the hell are they thinking?”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Threats to public order are to be summarily put down. This is what we’ve always done.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Summarily put down…”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“…”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Guess it’s a little late to grow a conscience”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>***</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“For the last time: are you sure this is what you want?”</p><p> </p><p>Reno rolled his eyes with an exasperated sigh. He had answered the first time Tseng asked him this question, when he placed his hand on the inside of Tseng’s thigh and squeezed after they dropped off Rude. He said the same thing when they got back to Tseng’s place when he asked him again.</p><p>He knew that this was not technically a part of their ‘friends-with-benefits-deal’ and he knew they had to openly talk about it, but this was getting ridiculously repetitive and bordering on boring, and Reno’s patience was wearing specially thin tonight.</p><p>This wasn’t their usual playdate or a random fuck they needed to de-stress. This was something else, venturing into more dangerous territory and boundaries needed to be set very clearly so no one gets hurt.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Not like Tseng would actually ‘hurt’ him. Not the way he hurt those people—</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“For the last fucking time; I’m not punishing myself. This… I just need to get the fuck out of my head.” the redhead finally answered, drew a deep breath and ran a shaky hand through his flaming red hair. They were both sitting in Tseng’s balcony overlooking the nicer parts of Sector One, two steaming cups of Wutaiian matcha before them on Tseng’s insistence. The latter was sitting back in his chair, calmly sipping his tea while staring at Reno over the rim of his porcelain cup.</p><p>“We’re both big boys, Tseng. I wouldn’t have asked for this if I didn’t know what I’m getting myself into and I do. And I still want it.” A pause, before he zeroed his aqua eyes on the other, “Trust me to make my own choices like I trust you to give me what I need.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Don’t make me beg.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Tseng put his cup back on the table and leaned forward, lacing his fingers together in his lap as he considered the man before him.</p><p>For all his sarcasm, sassy loudmouth and laid-back but hotheaded rockstar attitude, Reno was not an idiot. Many would often underestimate the lanky Turk in battle and life alike, thinking he's just another simpleton thug in a glorified suit, only to be blindsided by him. Reno was much smarter than most people gave him credit for, possibly including himself. It’s how he got into the Turks in the first place, let alone rising through the ranks to his second in command.</p><p>He had no doubt Reno was intelligent enough to know what he wanted, what worried him was that unlike himself, he tended to get emotional. In their line of work, that sort of thing would either get you killed or broken. Judging by the redhead's current demeanor and this nights events, he was closer to the latter than the first. He really couldn't blame Reno for it and he found himself pushing the envious part of himself that missed such twinges of guilt aside. </p><p>
  <em>They were well beyond this point, now.</em>
</p><p>“You understand I will not be your personal flogger, Reno.” Tseng stated in his usual calm voice, “This is just a game, meant to unwind and have some… fun between two adults. It’s not therapy and it’s not about licking each other’s wounds.”</p><p> </p><p>Reno gave a barking laugh at that, “Crystal. I don’t want you to hold my hand. I just want... a buzz.” He held out a hand and started counting on his fingers; "Booze don’t work anymore, the mako took care of that. I don’t want a cheap brain-dead hooker who wouldn’t know what they’re doing and I'm not in a mood to teach no one. HQ’s closed so I can’t get to the fucking gym to blow off steam and I doubt I can sleep without <em>something</em> to take the edge off.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">Tseng perfectly understood that. After all, it was one thing to give the order to drop the plate, it was another thing entirely to actually do it. To type away the code that would be the death sentence of hundreds of people. The worst part of it was that he knew Reno had every chance to back off when Cloud and his little friends came at him; to accept defeat and just lie there and not get back up again. IT would have worked, no one would have known and they would have swept it under the rug and concocted something else, or detached after someone 'accidentally' letting it slip that there was a bomb somewhere and they needed to evacuate before tragedy happened. </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="Apple-converted-space">But Reno had pride, as a man and as a Turk and wouldn't let himself skip on a mission unfinished. Tseng would go as far as to say that Rude knew it too and chose to press that button in the end so his partner wouldn't. </span>
</p><p>The Wutaiian considered him again. He <em>had </em>noticed the slight tremor in Reno's fingers, the tight coiling in the way he held himself, the jittering, the slight curl to his lips. Most of all, he had noticed the self-loathing and <em>despair</em> in his eyes.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> It was that look that eventually swayed him into accepting the -admittedly quite attractive- offer. </span>He knew what Reno wanted and knew exactly how to give it to him, he just didn’t want to break him, or what they had, in the process.</p><p>Which means they needed more rules.</p><p>Eventually he sighed, “This will be a simple session, nothing hardcore.”</p><p> </p><p>For the first time that night, Reno’s aqua blues had a flicker of life in them. “<em>Yes, sir.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>“No.” Tseng frowned, “Not yet. We’re still on equal grounds until the rules are out. Understood?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, <em>Tseng.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>“Good. Now limits...”</p><p> </p><p>They went through their list of limits, Tseng insisting on less intense ones than what they would usually be comfortable with, given the fragility of the situation. Reno thought Tseng was being ridiculous but agreed anyway. He would take whatever the other was willing to give and he knew just because it was less… hardcore, didn’t mean it would be any less intense.</p><p>Tseng never half-assed anything: not work, not S&amp;M play.</p><p> </p><p>“Safewords?”</p><p> </p><p>“Traffic lights: Green for go, Yellow for careful, Red for No.” The redhead recited, the words well practiced and engraved in his memory.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll use those at any. Given. Time without a second of hesitation. Understood?” a nod, “Emergency?”</p><p> </p><p>“Moogle.” He was practically vibrating with need, already focused on their upcoming session rather than Sector 7, but he knew he needed Tseng to give him the green light.</p><p> </p><p>The black haired Turk paused, then sat straighter in his chair, dropped his voice an octave and his entire energy changed.</p><p> </p><p>“Take a shower, You know where the bathroom is. You’ll find the kit in the bottom drawer, fresh towels in the top one and I want you kneeling outside my room in fifteen.”</p><p> </p><p>His Master was back.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Right. No sex in this chapter, you'll have to read the next to find out if it's there.</p><p>I really liked these two in the remake. I'm also impressed with Rude and Reno's conversation in the helicopter then in HQ and how much depth it adds to their characters. I'm also relieved we're back to sly, clandestine Turks rather than the comic-relief weirdos we got in Advent Children.</p><p>Well, Thanks for reading. Sorry this was too short, but do let me know how you found it.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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